Marriage Is a Scam—and Women Are Catching On
Why society can't handle women who choose themselves over tradition.
I’m 32, single, and all I could think about this week was marriage.
Yes—me! The perpetual single girl, the one whose friends express shock whenever I settle into a relationship.
And this week, I was consumed with the idea of marriage. But when I say that, it’s probably not how you’re thinking.
Marriage is both a fetish and a scam. It's a cultural obsession we're conditioned to pursue and an institution that consistently fails to deliver what it promises—especially for women. The problem isn't people who choose marriage—it's a society that weaponizes it against women who choose independence.
From Marjorie Taylor Greene’s comments on AOC to a Wall Street Journal article claiming women are “resigned to being single” without kids, I think back to how far we’ve come as a society…or rather, how little progress we’ve really made in the normalization of choice.
The Wall Street Journal article described single women as if they're settling for less, as if they've given up on some fundamental happiness that only comes with marriage and motherhood. There was never a choice in their eyes, just a decision that “this was the way it has to be.”
Greene's comments about AOC implied that a powerful woman without a husband and children must somehow be incomplete. Both narratives support the outdated assumption that a woman's worth is measured by her relationship status rather than intellect and choice.
Beneath Internet comments calling feminism “dangerous” and liberal women “the problem with society today,” there’s a common thread that runs through them—independence.
Over the years I’ve gone viral for my comments about marriage. I've been mocked, harassed, and dismissed as a “bitter cat lady” who is destined to die alone by those who can't imagine a woman choosing herself over traditional expectations. The fact that dying alone with cats is still used as an insult is a poignant stereotype for how little our social values have evolved.
The intensity of these responses tells me I've touched a nerve—when women reject societal expectations, it triggers a peculiar rage in those who've built their identity around upholding them from both men and women alike.