The Power of Naming My Pain

From Herpes Stigma to Heartbreak: The Lessons I'm Still Learning About Shame and Silence

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I’ve always found success in sharing the grittier, more vulnerable parts of myself. The parts of myself that may not be widely accepted, but those I knew were important to share. Take my herpes journey for example.

While my friends were the first to know, I shared publicly with my Facebook friends about my experience and the impact it had on my life. How could anything be done about herpes if no one really knew the impact?

It destroyed my self-esteem and sense of self-worth. It made me question my identity, my reality. The impact of herpes stigma cost me my confidence and sense of self. This year, I experienced a similar erosion. But this time, it wasn’t herpes—it was him.

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It turns out that my relationship to herpes stigma had a similar impact as my ex, except somehow worse. I recently described it to my therapist as feeling like a mouse. My voice was a whisper. I felt like my confidence was destroyed. He hadn't just taken my voice, he'd taken my spark.