3 Dangerous Myths About Sex Education That Just Won't Go Away
It’s hard not to feel defeated reading headlines suggesting we’re stepping backward. As a sex educator, it’s especially tough to process how recent political shifts could undermine sex education and sexual health initiatives.
This week, we learned that Trump has canceled nearly half of the grants through early May that addressed sexual and gender minority health.
I don’t believe in clickbait headlines or fearmongering, but I do believe it’s important to pay attention. Admittedly, it’s becoming harder. Each day feels like another blow to our progress and social advancements. Each day it seems like hatred is taking precedence over small joys.
Some believe they can erase research, and by doing so, erase the populations that research supports. But they’re wrong. The Trump team may try to delete data and evidence, but that doesn’t erase lived experiences.
In this hostile climate toward science and evidence-based sex education, here are the three most harmful myths I encounter as an educator.
Myth 1: Sex educators are teaching children how to have sex.
FALSE. No one is teaching young children how to have sex. When people hear the word sex, their mind usually jumps to the physical acts. That’s why there’s often an argument when it comes to sex education in the first place. People hear the word but don’t understand what it entails.
Sex education encompasses so much more than anatomy, condoms, and STIs. Truly comprehensive sex education prepares all levels for age-appropriate dialogue about their bodies, relationships, and themselves.
And the data strongly supports this approach, too. In fact, multiple studies have demonstrated that comprehensive sexuality education programs actually reduce rates of sexual activity, “risky” sexual behaviors, STIs, and adolescent pregnancy.
There is age-appropriate sex education for ALL ages. For children, examples include teaching them the correct anatomical terms for body parts (e.g., penis instead of “private parts”), how to express boundaries, and understand consent. As children grow, the education evolves with their developmental needs.
Pro Tip: My favorite resource for age-appropriate sex education is Sex Positive Families. Founded by Melissa Pintor Carnagey, LBSW, Sex Positive Families has all kinds of guidance and resources for supporting your kids from birth to young adulthood and beyond.
Myth 2: Teaching kids about gender diversity will lead them to identify as “furries.”
FALSE. This represents a fundamental misunderstanding of both gender education and childhood development. Some may ask, “Well why do I always see it in the headlines if it’s not true?” Simply put, it’s clickbait. It’s a misunderstood topic that’s bound to stir up emotional engagement and heated debate.
U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) falsely claimed that educators were “putting litter boxes in schools for people who identify as cats,” a baseless right-wing rumor that has been thoroughly debunked by educators and journalists alike.
In reality, teaching children about gender diversity doesn’t influence their gender identity. Whenever the “furry” argument appears, I like to ask how parents differentiate play. What’s considered “normal” childhood imaginative play versus sexual expression, and who is attributing it?
Pro Tip: Adults need sex ed, too! If you're confused about what's really being taught, consider reaching out to your child's teacher or school counselor rather than relying on headlines or rumors. In the interim, here’s a great 101 article I wrote about the difference between sex and gender.
Myth 3: Only parents should teach sex education.
NUANCED. *Ahem* as someone with undergraduate and graduate education dedicated to the field of human sexuality, I beg to differ.
While parents play a crucial role in their children’s understanding of values around relationships and sexuality, they often lack accurate, comprehensive knowledge about sexual health topics.
Arguably, the shame that some parents carry from their health education (or lack thereof) leaves them passing that shame forward to their children, rather than providing them with education and a safe space to ask questions and grow into themselves.
The same is true for those who grew up in religious cultures that promoted purity culture, rather than informing young people about their bodies.
Much of parents' concerns about sex education is well-intended. Of course you want to protect your children. Of course you want them to get the information they need when it's appropriate to them.
But I respectfully pose the question: How do you determine when your child is “ready” for age-appropriate sex education if you're not well-versed as an adult?
For many parents, the answer seems to be “never.”
Many adults still walk around misinformed about their own bodies and sexual health. Only 13% of American adults realize that over half of the people in the United States will have an STI at some point in their life.
Talking about sex with your kids can also be uncomfortable, even if you consider yourself a sex positive adult. It can be hard to see your child as a sexual being, which is why it’s so valuable to have a network of support to lean on.
Despite political shifts and misinformation campaigns, the data speaks for itself: Comprehensive sex education doesn't increase sexual activity—it reduces it. It doesn't confuse children about their identities—it gives them tools to understand themselves and others with respect. And it doesn't replace parents—it supports them.
No matter how many grants get canceled or how many misleading headlines pop up, the reality remains stubbornly clear that kids who receive comprehensive sex education make more informed choices. That's not just my opinion—it's what the research consistently shows. And it's why I'll keep fighting for every young person's right to accurate information about their bodies and relationships.
Still have questions?
Amaze.org: Provides young people the answers they actually want to know about puberty, sex, their bodies, and healthy relationships
Delvyy: 100 Days of FREE sex education materials
GLAAD: LGBTQ Resource List
Erica Smith Education and Consulting: Erica Smith, MEd, is a sex educator who specializes in sex education for those leaving high-control religions.
Guttmacher Institute: Sex and HIV Education (see what your state requires!)
Scarleteen: a progressive, inclusive sexuality and relationships education, information and support organization and digital clearinghouse
Sex Positive Families: Age-appropriate sex education resources
The Trevor Project: The leading suicide prevention and crisis intervention nonprofit organization for LGBTQ+ young people